You're Invited: Risk Being Seen!

Updated: Mar 11


Victorious Sisterhood: We welcome you to join us every Monday at 11 am PST, where we connect and notice the cycles of our lives. Each week through checking in, we can see how we are shifting and changing over time. We hold a protective and safe space for you to be in whatever season you are without judgment or comparative energy. We celebrate all seasons and welcome each woman's experience. Please register to join us tomorrow or a Monday soon that suits you best!


We are all many things; multifaceted, complicated and very human!


As we explore the different aspects of ourselves, we may find shame and judgment come up around some of our personality traits. We may deem others as more acceptable to bring into the light of day.


The times we live in favour this one-dimensional character as well. But we know we are far from one dimensional. Our expectations of others also reinforce this notion of one faceted person.


I remember when one of my teachers told me that she loved watching Project Runway and that she watched a lot of T.V. I couldn't believe it. I had this idea that because she is a Spiritual Teacher, she would be meditating all day, reciting the many names of God over and over, and that is all I made room for her to be.

I was projecting my idea of her onto her. I didn't make room in my head that she was just a human like everyone else. We do this as humans. We have our idea of who and what people are, and if they step outside of the roles we have for them, we can find that we are disappointed that they are not the superhumans we made them into.

We do this to ourselves, of course too. We have many roles and identities that push our lives forward. Some are easy and more pleasant to identify with, and others we want to purify or delete, for if others saw all of us, we may be rejected.


How can we make a point of showing different sides of ourselves to the world?


One day we may be polished and centred, and the next more undone and fierce, maybe even sad and depressed at times too.


Why must we only offer one side of ourselves to the world and keep the rest for our closest relationships or a dark closet?


There is a time and place for all our facets; being somewhat transparent is a radical act. This racial act will surely rattle and trigger people around us.


Being yourself, with all your facets, is a personal revolution towards embodied wisdom in all your dimensions. The wisdom of being a natural, normal, done and undone human being.

Can we free ourselves from the boxes others put us in? And we can free ourselves from our own beliefs around how we think we need to be?

Freedom comes when we allow others to see us in our processes and many facets. We can challenge the one-dimensional norm upheld by social media by allowing more than one version of ourselves to be seen.

For the longest time, I struggled with this as a teacher because I know the importance and power of a single projection. I have seen the benefits for students when they experience a single projection of a teacher.

It is different for every student, of course, but a teacher's projection can trigger parts of the unconscious to help the student explore parts of themselves; they otherwise would never dare to look at.

This is especially powerful if the teacher is as neutral as possible. Projection does have its place.


My struggle and question to myself was/is, how can I show parts of myself that are very raw and human to remove myself from any pedestal a student may have put me on. And can I remove myself from the one I put myself on?


In the last year, this has felt very important to me. I wanted to allow myself the opportunity to integrate the aspects of myself that I was shaming. The elements of myself that felt very human and me, but maybe didn't fit into some of my boxes and projections.

I started sharing more in my writing and the posts I was making. I allowed myself to be seen in a messy bun and lousy lighting, truth talking about the importance of eating meat, resting, leaning into shadow work. As a facilitator of Monday Victorious Sisterhood Sessions; it is crucial to be seen and heard truthfully during my check in's. I even allowed the participants to see me cry. Victorious Sisterhood is a considerable part of my integration.


I have also been open and honest about not teaching this year after hard truths about my yoga lineage came out. I allowed myself to be seen in my process of devastation, and I stepped away from an identity that feeds me to hold myself in surrender deeply.


It was vital for me to do because I wanted/want to heal perfectionism and release the idea that as a leader in my community, I needed to show up and be steady even though I knew I had nothing to give. I had been steady for eight years; It was time to do some deep personal integration work that only I could do. It was about me for me, and I owned that.


My go and get em attitude needed to take a back seat, and my "light the way" projection needed to rest, especially in this pandemic. I had to risk being seen in this uncomfortable process to integrate who I was/am becoming.

As a Registered Holistic Nutritionist and former vegetarian turned meat-loving enthusiast, I was afraid to be open about how eating animals was reversing my autoimmune disease.


As a Kundalini Yoga Teacher, it is unheard of to eat meat, probably because no one is open about it, even though I know many are secretly eating meat at home where no one can see. I have met a few teachers that would whisper to me that they too ate meat but would often promote a Vegan diet and vegan festivals even though they are not vegan. We teachers also had to sign a document at the end of teacher training, saying we would eat and promote a vegetarian diet as teachers, we wouldn't drink alcohol or do any drugs.


So when I did my nutritional training and learned that for my autoimmune condition, the best thing to do was introduce animal foods, I felt split, like I was going to have to carry this secret, a part of me that my Yoga Community could not know about. Students should not know about it even though I am a Nutritionist and honestly feel that a vegetarian diet can be harmful to many bodies.


After being verbally attacked by what I would call a radicalized Vegan a few years back, I recoiled and refrained from publicly talking about the healing capabilities of animal food and traditional diets.

What I was eating wasn't accepted in the" light and love" yoga communities for the most part. I didn't fit into the box of Yogi "do no harm" anymore. I guess they would rather I do more harm to my body and ignore the fact that death has always fueled life and that we wouldn't have evolved as a species without meat. If I were to be a teacher trainer (which was the plan, might still be), I would have to silence this part of me during training. Nevermind how I love a cold Guinness from time to time and think cannabis can be a tool for healing. I give permission to find what is the middle path for me and others.

I get there is a time and place for our identities and projections. A single projection is powerful and needed. But, I also see the harm of keeping some of them locked up in a closet. Repression is a bitch and leads us into an unintegrated life where we are always looking for approval.


It took me until I was 33 years old to come out of my spiritual closet, which was a painful process. One that was so triggering for others in my life. One family member told me never to talk about Kundalini Yoga or tarot cards around their children ever. I felt alone and rejected for much of my coming out as a spiritual "woo" person.


Now it's trendy. And a billion-dollar industry. Go figure.


It takes great courage to be yourself. Especially in a world that has so many boxes to fit in. A world where social media accounts grow if you present one aspect of yourself, so the followers know what to expect and how to classify you. It is a personal revolution to integrate the many facets of ourselves and allow them to be seen by others.


Transparency allows for the pedestal's removal, and in that, we risk not being the desired projection the student, friend, client, or even family member wants.

The more facets we integrate, the more round and whole we become. The less we have to prove and the less hiding we do.


Risk being seen.


In revolution,

Patricia MacNeill


Victorious Sisterhood: We welcome you to join us every Monday at 11 am PST, where we connect and notice the cycles of our lives. Each week through checking in, we can see how we are shifting and changing over time. We hold a protective and safe space for you to be in whatever season you are without judgment or comparative energy. We celebrate all seasons and welcome each woman's experience. Please register to join us tomorrow or a Monday soon that suits you best!

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